(To the tag question ‘if you could change one thing about the world, what would you do?’. A good gentleman-friend in the blog replied --- “Make all the men disappear from this planet 'cause most women feel men never understand them, which is not true.” Sorry, I don't have permission to mention his name.)
So he believes that men do understand women- Hmmm, sounds good. But arguments are thrown left and right continuingly from both camps-- Gosh, we’ll never get anything settled with that. Why don’t we just ‘seek to understand rather than be understood’? After all isn’t that what we’re supposed to do? We’ve been taught to be a person for others and least to be for ourselves. Besides if we got ourselves all figured out and are quite secure in it, we could afford to be generous and magnanimous of others, can’t we?
Look at it this way, if men (or women) weren't the 'weird' creatures that we think they are --- would there be fun and excitement at all which these 'odd differences' manage to create in our lives? There wouldn’t be the ‘chase’ or ‘discovery’ or ‘revelation’ or ‘surprise’, would it? So if men and women were created so ‘predictable and same’, then there would be need for just one gender – a predictable expected boring neutral creature! Ugh! Then we don’t have to bother about wracking our brains out trying to figure out just how the other person ticks or what makes him or her behave they way they do. Imagine a world where everybody will be just like everybody. No creature called 'man', and none called 'woman'. Just beings who think the same, talk the same, and behave the same. That might as well be clones -- each one mirroring the other --- both the good and the bad of its character.
I don’t think I can live with that. There are some bits of me which I’d rather live without. Now if I see it mirrored back to me by my partner, how in heaven’s name can I ever hope for a chance to change or improve or become better. I would rather meet someone who is a positive to my negative traits and I expect at the least for that to work vice versa, too. That way I could shake off those things which don’t do anything for my growth and then be guided by his positive traits which could for the most part help me grow to my fullest potential as a person. This should work both ways.
Men and women will never run out of things to say about each other but there’s one thing that I know --- you guys will still find it all inadequate and end up none the least sated and puzzled as ever. So then all your ranting and raging about the opposite sex will just be meal for columns and books --- a lively fiesta of gender bashing which writers enjoy dipping their pens into.
Yet as life always plays its funny tricks on us we do get to meet the wrong ones. Strange, isn’t it? More cause or fuel added to the fire, as another friend told me. Well, there must be some reason for that. Nothing in our life happens as an accident I believe – there always is a bigger and inexplicable ‘design’ why things happen the way they do. (I’m still trying to figure that out, honest.) But it really doesn’t reveal itself until at some auspicious time when we’re ‘ready’ or when we have learned the ‘lesson’ it wants us to learn…then we finally might see the truth and understand. (Gosh!, that went over my head when I first heard it.) But I did get to learn that -- Life is all about ‘growth’ and the universe cooperates in that by sending us ‘tools’ for growing. Perhaps it’s meant to be a good thing for us, who knows, to experience a miss-match. But I don’t know if the universe knows this (or maybe it does) – that growth too comes with a price. Inside an off-key relationship, the price to pay would be deep shattered feelings, expectations, and failed dreams. But this is a different story altogether. Now where was I?! lolz J
Now, people, don’t go wishing anyone disappearing from this planet – it’s half a planet without one or the other. There you go --that’s what it’s all about after all!! – that men and women complete each other, one isn’t whole without the other. Because it doesn’t really matter who’s better or best, weird or crazy, a puzzle or a mystery – it’s all designed to make this one exciting gorgeous nerve-wracking but delightfully fantastic package called a human being to make your life complete. Hey, maybe a tiny 'thank you' is in order here to HIM up there - cause this sure looks like a good plan! Oh boy, do I ramble on! Now don’t take this seriously, these are just the meandering thoughts of a little ole lady who can still be wrong in many things. Lol. :-)
posted on Friday, May 12, 2006 8:36 AM