I remember this long ago several years into the marriage and with three little girls romping all around the house filling every nook and cranny with their giggles and antics non-stop. They were all over the place. Gosh! That morning as in every morning before it, I (a working mom then) was all set for work with anticipation of a full day ---a meeting in the morning, a training for new salesmen after lunch, and monthly reports that had to be ready for the presentation the next day. Then in a minute came tumbling into my room my three-year-old daughter, precocious – cheery – like a bubbling brook. She raised up to me her tiny hands holding Barbie half-dressed “Mommy, fix.” “Oh no!” I gasped in horror, not because Barbie was undone but the clock on the wall screamed out that I was dangerously running late. I called out to the maid to handle the matter like it was an office thing being delegated to someone. Then I gave the little one a hasty kiss on the cheek, grabbed my bag, and made for the door. But for a split second there I somehow managed to glance back at her ---- still standing there motionless with Barbie in her hand, but for her face… Gee! It’s the face that’s replicated many times over by us at different times of our life as we move from one to another -------Disappointment! In that one brief moment I felt my world crumble ….. As I very well knew hers did!
Oh look at us big men and women rushing through our days minding our jobs, clients, bosses, meetings, trips, appointments all wrapped-up in self. We leave the house with a quick kiss on their young cheeks and return home late at night when they are fast asleep in their beds. At the office, we get so busy defending or preventing disappointments or frustrations which undoubtedly cram our minutes and hours no end. Busy - busy - busy! But did it ever cross our minds just how this would affect our children at home? Did we ever stop to think that they, too, may have needs just like adults do? Did we ever wonder if they thought about us Mom and Dad as they play with their toys? Do they miss us? Did we try thinking that maybe, just maybe, we --- their parents, or uncles, aunts, grandparents, or perhaps favorite friends of Mom and Dad --- may be a ‘disappointment’ to them, too?
In the next instant, I dropped my bag to the floor, rushed to her side and spoke “Let’s find something that would fit Barbie.” Lo! The little one, her cherubic face now transformed into a thousand-mega watt smile, shrieked and jumped with delight and pulled me to her room. Later that same day I made my resolve…..
“That henceforth I shan’t break my little girl’s heart --- a heart so gentle and fragile, trusting and believing, hopeful and loving. My child will only be young once and when gone -- will be gone forever.
So I resolve to build wonderful memories with my children today, because when they’re grown up and will have kids of their own, I would like them to remember and fondly return to this day and other moments like it and tell their children. Armed with this, too, they in turn will carve their own memories for their children to go back to with fondness someday -- Cycle of love. No more shall I let disappointment be a half-dressed Barbie, or a teddy bear with a missing button nose, or a broken wooden horse, or a kite with broken string, or a fairytale waiting to be read in the hands of my little child. I shall turn those precious moments into golden memories. I shall be available for my precious ones.”
Several years have gone by since and my children now are all grown….. yet I am even surer today that I did the right thing then. Career didn't take off as it should have... I guess they didn't warm up to my own set of priorities... lolz! :-)) Oh well! My daughters are still unmarried (they seem to love the independence of a working girl's life ..lolz!) but ---- the thousand-megawatt smile hasn’t left their faces to this day... and I hope will stay on for many many more. :-)
posted on Wednesday, August 30, 2006 4:06 PM