Thursday, October 25, 2007


Two things will indisputably happen when I sit at Thor’s coffee bar. One, I get to enjoy a good cup of cappuccino and be fussed over by Thor, good waiter and friend, with an apple pie on the side to boot. And two, my ‘radar’ will hone in on the conversation at the next table. Eavesdropping? I wouldn’t call it that though some just might. You see, as a person whose first love is writing – I consider every bit of life play around me as always good reason to work brain cells and heart muscles and my dependable standby paper-&-pen. You do know what the brain is for and as for the heart – without it life will only be mere existing, not authentic living. Several writings have been born in this coffee shop and again several more on my early morning walks, lunch dates with my buddies, pocket get-togethers in my home, and the ever constant weather changes. Even in bloggingJ you’ll be surprised how several o3 bloggers have inspired my writing though they don’t know it. There is so much to see in everyday life and in people sufficiently or even more than enough to provide subject for writing. That is if you put your mind and heart to it. I like studying people particularly – what makes them tick, their weakness and strength, power, cunning, contradiction, ego, simplicity, complexity, habits, quirks, and ordinariness. Looking at these closely grants me the special privilege of learning more bout life and living... and of course, of understanding myself. . Looking at them is like looking at me in the mirror – what I am and what I fail to see-- good or bad. They mirror me and I guess the reverse is also true. A word of warning though, the view may not always be pretty. :-)

Right now what trickles in my direction is a conversation carried on in the next table (but of course, lol) just two elbows away. Seated are two guys and three girls, around their middle twenties, obviously employed, and maybe married. Looking like they have long been friends. Anyway, these things rang in my ear long after they had gone.

- “I don’t go for the big adventure -- too much risk there. I can’t
afford to lose what I have managed to gain this far. Can’t afford to make
a mistake; can be costly.”

- “Shucks, no mistakes for me ever. It’s like bashing your own head
with your own hand. I’m fine right here, cautious and careful, Thank you.“

- “Yeah, what if a mistake creates a bigger mistake and lots more?
How can I get through that?”

- “Are you kidding me –what if I made the wrong move? What if I made
a big mistake – one that I will regret for the rest of my life?”

Does that sound familiar to you? --Because it does to me. I’ve been there – I know that feeling. And whenever I see this in the people around me (especially young people), the first temptation I get is to bonk their heads together. Forgive the expression, my friends, but it’s really what they need.

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be -- continually fearing that you will make one Ellen Hubbard

Oh! That’s not me; that’s Hubbard. Lol But I sure agree with the lady a 100%.

You will make mistakes in life, like it or not. But you can’t live your life each day being afraid that you will. Think about this. Are you sure that you have all the answers to all the issues and problems of your life? That knowing it you can be assured that nothing will ever go wrong someday? Is there a guarantee that people, circumstances, situations, conditions, systems, principles, technology, beliefs, and similar others more won’t change with the passing of time? Are you sure that the people you have around you won’t change a bit in their thinking ten or twenty years from now? Are you sure that they would always agree with you all of the time forever? Are you sure that you won’t change too?

Where there is change, mistakes are not far behind. Now don’t tell me the kinds of mistakes one makes in life cos that’s not what this piece is all about. This is all about being afraid to commit one.

C’mon, so what if you make a mistake? –Tell me, how else one can effectively learn good lessons but through ‘mistakes’. Do you know of a better way? You see, there may be many ways to learn a good lesson, but this one is the only way I can see which best can sink-in the lesson that a person should be learning and with such greater force and impact. Sometimes we need to be pricked in our stubbornness, ego, shortsightedness, complacency, and pride so that new knowledge, principles, values, insights, perceptions, and learning can enter and take place. That’s what mistakes do to us – shake us up and hard.

Besides aren’t you just one bit curious on how much more you can do with yourself where you are-with what you have? Perhaps unleash your latent abilities and potential for success and something greater? Push the standard higher? And then be rewarded beyond your wildest dreams when you’re there? Oh! so you think that you don’t have it in you? Wrong again, junk that thought cos God doesn’t create dummies or losers. It’s you who’s doing that to yourself. You already have it in you, but the thing is you fear too much, especially afraid to err.

Don’t be afraid of mistakes, it’s not your enemy but a friend – a good one. Yet you have to meet it on the same turf its meeting you – learning and challenge. But if you can’t swing that, amigo, then brace yourself cos mistakes will hurt you a lot harder than you expect it to. Definitely it will cos you have the wrong attitude to start with.

“Need to change that cup, ma’am.” Came Thor’s smiling voice. Sure enough my coffee had gone cold. “So when are you going to write about me, ma’am?” teased Thor grinning wide. I looked at him and smiled “Sooner than you think, Thor, sooner than you think.” …And gave him my cold cup. :-)

posted on Saturday, February 10, 2007 1:53 PM


  1. I found your blog while searching randomly on google for wise thoughts on fear of making mistakes (I have recently made one and was feeling rather bad about it!). I enjoyed reading your thoughts on this topic - it was enlightening and comforting - so thank you.

  2. Hi!

    You know what, how I wished that you left me your name. That would make me very happy. Still, your message warmed my heart so. Thank you.

    Oh don't fret bout making mistakes cos we all do, small and huge ones. Look at it as a guide post in life telling you what to do - where to go - what to improve on. It's there as a friend, not as an enemy.

    You'll be okay. Cause you know what, you're made of sturdy stuff more than what you give yourself credit for. Believe it. I believe in you.

    Blessings to you and your family.