Lunch with the ladies always was fun and enjoyable. We have it as our monthly outing breaking off from our families, cleaning chores, diapers, baby bottles, homework, laundry and what-else-have-you for one full day! Aside from our favorite corner at our favorite restaurant, we also head off to our friend’s condo home on the 14th floor. She plays the perfect host to the hilt spoiling us with every delectable dish possible. So we don’t really leave the dining table at all but hold our chat right there, quite conveniently.
As usual, the chatter covered a lot of things – mundane, complex, and sometimes thoughtful. Then the conversation shifted to parenting and children. The ladies expressed their respective hopes and dreams for their children-- while I, apparently not paying attention to them, was blissfully sidetracked by a plate of shrimp pasta and fresh green salad on the side. Fantastic duo!! Only when Lena let escape a sob did I look up to see what was going on. C’mon now, first it was Marcia from last time... and now it’s Lena?! So I took a last glance at my fantastic duo and turned towards the chat.
Lena disclosed to us her fond hopes, dreams, and expectations for her daughter who’s set to graduate in March. But she felt so unhappy seeing that her daughter wasn’t too inclined in sharing those dreams. Now I won’t go further into details; let this be sufficient to sum up her special story.
I was in the midst of my own thoughts when I felt Marie nudge me with “Well??” “Well what?” I replied. Then I noticed that all eyes were riveted to me, including Lena. “Heyyy...what now..” I protested “what have I done?!” “Nothing, but you haven’t said anything yet” replied Didier. I looked around and apparently there was no way I could escape this. “Okay. For what it’s worth, I’ll tell you what I was thinking”.
One thing I understood from my mother is that-- parents are simply stewards of their children's lives. We, mothers and fathers, don't own them. We nurture, protect, guide, provide for them until they are ready to go out into the big wide world and live their own lives. How best can we teach them -- is achieved only by the way we live. If we practice what we preach, that's pretty much where they will gather seeds for their own precious dreams. We are the foundation of their dreams. How strong or weak the foundation we have created within-- will determine the strength or weakness of the dream and ambition which our children will build upon it. We don’t create the foundation for them, WE are that foundation by the way we live our lives. We build that foundation we want them to have not outside ourselves—but WITHIN ourselves. The character within us of courage, strength, honesty, self-confidence, perseverance, among other things, forms that foundation. We ARE that foundation. We are the springboard from which our sons and daughters can lift off to build and fulfill their own set of dreams and carve out their own lives. Indeed an awesome task for parents, and yet possible--it’s love in action. Remember this popular song by Whitney Houston ‘The Greatest Love of All’? A particular line goes this way…”Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all…” Loving yourself first well and good lets you love others better and best, your children especially. Care how your mind and heart grows; this is what you're passing on to your children. This love is the seed that feeds and helps them build their own beautiful dreams. Who you are by what you have made of yourself determines how they will see themselves and will conduct themselves in the events of their lives. And the fulfillment of their dreams – will one day become yours, too.
I stopped at that point and looked around the table; silence ensued broken only by the sudden ringing of the phone. Siena, who stood up to answer it, came back and handed the cordless phone to Lena. After a few minutes, we heard her say “That’s great, honey, give it a try. Whatever happens, I’ll be here for you.” To that, Didier raised her juice glass and gave a rousing toast “To the greatest love of all!” “A mother’s love!” added Marcia. Three cheers!!! J
Ah finally, back to my delicious fantastic duo!! Yummmmyy!
posted on Saturday, February 11, 2006 6:30 PM