LOVE AND COMMITMENT

When my friend told me that he loves his girlfriend so much and that he’ll do nothing to hurt her, I smiled approvingly. She, too, was my friend. I have this soft spot for lovers and love in every form. Love weaves its own magic in our lives. How boring life is without it.

Six months after he said that I began to think differently about him-- surprised huh? Giving other ladies the naughty eye and other subtle flirtations definitely are a huge contradiction of his statements months ago. Of course, his girl doesn’t know this. Cornering the guy in a party one day, I asked him pointblank just what his game was. He simply brushed the question aside with a remark that he’s just a normal guy and it’s just innocent flirtation. I left him utterly disgusted. Did I tell his girlfriend? No, because sometimes you have to let things run its normal course for important ‘lessons’ meant to be learned. But since there’s a chance she would be reading this, I’d like to put down here what I think of it. The rest is up to her.

Love is a wonderful thing. It beats every other experience that may give a person a super thrill or enchantment-- incomparable to none. More often it’s the thrill of being loved that gives you that sugar high in your life. Heightens all your senses and makes you see things through rose-colored glasses, music, rainbows and moonbeams-- such a wonderful feeling to be loved by someone indeed.

To love someone is ecstatic. Everywhere you go, every person you see becomes an image of the person you love. Even your dreams are filled with images of her lovely smile or his handsome dark eyes. You jump when the phone rings or a simple knock at the door would make your heart skip a beat. Your heart spills over with sweet anticipation of his or her company. You go crazy at the slightest hint of separation, briefly or not-- and. . . . these words become permanent fixtures in your vocabulary – forever, nevermore, always, eternally…etc.

But let me shake you from your perch up in cloud 9 and bring you down to earth for a bit. You see, there is one thing often overlooked or ignored by people in love. Recognize this word – commitment? Love is a ‘relationship’ and like other kinds of relationships, business or otherwise, has in it this one important factor or ingredient called commitment. Commitment makes you act responsibly in a relationship. Without it, things can go loose and crazy and head out in all directions, weaken and ultimately shatter that which you value so much. Love and commitment are inseparable like a kite and a string is to each other. A kite glides happily up in the air – akin to the euphoria of love. And the string? It reins the kite in– making sure it doesn’t fly off to somewhere and get lost or get knocked out in the branches of nearby trees. Therein you’ll find what responsibility and commitment is. Of such is love and loving. Commitment binds you to all your utterances of love and loving. Commitment makes it all genuine and true.

I guess he has to learn this the hard way. Maybe you’re the right person to teach him that?

posted on Monday, December 05, 2005 10:07 AM